I almost died yesterday.
Well, it’s hard to say whether I would have died or not, but I was held at gunpoint, and guns kill, so I think that first line is a fair assessment.
The strange thing is that this happened on my last night in Cape Town, just before heading home to the Eastern Cape. In other words, had that gun been fired, I wouldn’t be sitting on my couch at home writing this. My family would be preparing for their first Christmas without me.
The irony is that, at the time, my family was at a cousin’s celebration. When the incident happened, I didn’t tell them. Despite the trauma, I didn’t want to ruin the mood, draw attention to myself, or have everyone panic and bombard me with calls at the expense of my cousin’s birthday.
Some moments change the way you see life.
This was the second time I’ve made eye contact with the cold eye of a gun. I wasn’t shot on either occasion, and sometimes that alone is what you’re grateful for.
Both incidents forced a hard perspective on me. Life is more fragile than we like to admit. Most of us don’t have as much time as we think we do.
And perhaps the biggest freedom in life is doing what you want to do without the exhausting theatrics of trying to impress people who don’t really matter, and who often don’t care about you nearly as much as you think. Things like following your curiosity simply because it’s fun, not because it pays or earns applause, and choosing experiences and memories with the people you love over keeping up appearances.
Facing death, especially more than once, has a way of stripping things down. It makes you realise what is and isn’t a poor use of the little time we have.
The people you’re trying to impress won’t be at your funeral.
© Phumzile